BIRD WILLIAMS: You're listening to Bird Means Business Episode 28. 

Welcome to the Bird Means  Business podcast. I'm so happy you're here, truly. Like for you to take time out of your day, out of your busy schedule, to share this space with me, really means a lot. It's special to me. So thank you for being here. 

I'm very excited about this week's episode. I'm sharing a takeaway clip from what I shared at the Women Empowering Women Conference. It’s hosted by Kat Bulligan, a beautiful young lady with a beautiful heart and mission to serve our youth and to inspire women. And it's a good one. I've never really shared about my life in this way. And I kind of shared the journey of my story, highlighting some milestones. I didn't realize until I sat down to do this outline that there's this theme in my life. There's this takeaway that like, you could look at my life, or my resume and think, oh wow, Ashley must be so smart, and so well connected and so amazing or whatever. But the truth is that, first of all, it's the grace of God. It is hard to deny that there are so many times in my life where situations were beyond me, so I have to credit God. And also, I just kept going. I just kept fighting, despite it all, despite the odds. I know you've heard me share that before. But I really feel like I can't say it enough. And I think mapping it out and laying it out in this way will be helpful for you to see what I mean because it would be like there were these ups and downs. Ashley does well in one phase of her life and she levels up, and then she fails miserably. And then she eventually keeps going and figures it out, and does well again to level up only to fail, quote-unquote, again, miserably. Then disrupt, rinse and repeat. And I want to talk about this because our resumes quote-unquote only capture those highs. Could you imagine if your resume said, “Hey, so yeah. I got a ‘C’ in calculus my first fall semester.” Which by the way was a big deal for me having been a straight ‘A’ student all of high school. And I didn't even try to take calculus at my university. I instead went to a junior college thinking it would be easier. But guess what, it wasn't. It was still hard and I still got a ‘C’. Or to add onto my resume, to say, you know, “After months of training to be an investment banking analyst, I failed my Series 7 exam.” Yep, that's the exam to pass in order to work in securities, (i.e., in order to keep my job I had to pass this exam), and I didn't the first time. 

So, no, we don't record our quote-unquote failures on our resume, and that's fine. But guys, the only problem is that people, you out there, potential entrepreneurs or entrepreneurs-in-the-making. You might see successful quote-unquote people out there and think they just kind of skip their way to success. But that's just not true. And I want to make sure that you understand that. Whatever it is that you have gone through, wherever it is that you come from, you can if you just keep going. It's actually tough for a lot of people. We all work through our own mess and past and drama. But the winners are the ones that literally just don't quit, just adapt and keep it moving. 

So, this conference was geared toward high school and early college young women. But I really think there's so much that you can pull from it as an entrepreneur. And my hope is that whatever limiting belief you have about why you can't, why you can't [fill in the blank], that just plays over and over, in your mind. Or that you remember whenever you get ready to try to do something again or that thing again, I hope that limiting belief is quieted, after listening to this. And honestly, I'm all about keeping it real, I think I know that by now. So I don't care if sharing these flaws about myself makes me look less cool or less smart, or whatever. I mean, I honestly believe the fruit of my life will speak for itself. And ultimately, my value is rooted in something much greater than what can be measured here on Earth. So, that’s that. All right? 

I shared these three guiding principles or lessons, as how I refer to them. And each of them has a corresponding quote. Those quotes are 1) “If you're going through hell, keep going.” -  Winston Churchill said that one. And then 2), “Do You, Boo!” I love that point. And then 3) “Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat.” - F. Scott Fitzgerald said that one. So you're going to hear the story like I explained of these milestones in my life and how they relate to these quotes. And I think it's gonna be really good. I'm excited for you to hear. Let's go ahead and dive in.

My name is Ashley Williams, and I am so excited and honored to be here, sharing my life journey with you today. And I hope there's some really great practicals you can pull from it. So am I the smartest? Definitely not. But my resume would have you fooled. You see, a friend of mine recently was introducing me to his colleague. He was going on and on about how smart I was. And I wanted to just cringe. I wanted to just throw up because I was like how exactly do you define smart. Right? I mean I'm not the best test taker. I don't really remember all the formulas from college or high school. I mean there was something like a Pythagorean theorem. What was it about? I don't know. I barely made it through college calculus, like, barely. By the grace of God. So, not really sure if I would define myself as super-duper smart. But can I reverse engineer something? Can I kind of dissect things and take things apart? Can I put together a strategy? Can I double-check, triple-check, you know, try to do everything I can and excellence? Can I work my butt off? Yes, that I can do, and that's what I have done. and I believe wholeheartedly, that is why I've had the success in my life up to this point. 

So, I am going today to hopefully dispel any ideas that you have around why you have to have X or Y, or Z, in order to achieve success or to live your best life, or reach your dreams. I hope to just kick that negative voice that's like looping in your head out because of something you did in the past. Remember what you did in 2008? Or you know your resources or lack of money, or whatever it might be schooling. Whatever that is, I want to make it obvious that that is a lie. That is not true. And I hope that you realize that you have more in you right now than you even realize. I hope you're able to identify that, and then also capitalize on those inner strengths. All right? 

Like I said, I'm going to share some life lessons. I'll share three lessons. And again, I want it to be super-duper practical for wherever you find yourself. And I hope that you're empowered to just ultimately never give up. Okay? 

Lesson number one, “If you're going through hell, keep going.” That’s one of my favorite quotes from Winston Churchill. I am a quote nerd. And in high school, a friend gifted me a quotationary. It’s a huge book of quotes, and that's one of my favorites. I still have that by the way. This is what I found. The harder things get, the closer you are. I'm gonna say it one more time for the people in the back or the people who maybe got a little bit distracted while they're watching this video. The harder things get the closer you are. And the win goes to those who are crazy enough to keep going. So there's this cartoon, I love. It is of two men who are mining for diamonds. The one that's further along. He is so close to getting those diamonds. Well y’all, he's tired. He is so tired. His feet hurt. His back hurts. He's hungry. He misses his family at home. And so he decides to walk away. He gives up. But you know what? Those feelings weren't the game-changer for him. Because you see, when he started the race, he was like the other guy. He was eager, enthusiastic, going all in, going ham. But over time, he lost faith. Yeah, he lost faith that he could actually reach the diamonds. He’d been doing it for so long. He’d not seen a single one. And see, that's why faith is so important. Because with faith, you'll continue to press on despite whatever physical or emotional feelings that you have. See, what stops us isn't what we feel. It’s what we believe. Don't forget that. Okay? And I say that because if he believed that the diamonds were still coming, if he knew that they were just on the other side, it would take only a few more times to get to reach that, he would have kept going. He wouldn't have cared about his back hurting or being hungry because he was so close. But he lost faith and that was the game-changer. 

There was a time in my life where I almost lost faith in myself. So, on my resume, you will see ‘Class of 2006 Valedictorian’. And the first time I ever heard the word valedictorian and found out what it meant, I was actually in junior high, and I was kind of obsessed with it. I was like this is so neat. I would love to be valedictorian. So I kind of thought about it. I said, well, if I'm the top student, each year of high school freshman, sophomore, junior, all the way till I'm a senior. I'd be in a really good position to be qualified for valedictorian.

So, it was like the first real goal I ever had in my life, and I set after it. It looked like having to say no to a lot of fun stuff and to lose cool points whenever we were hanging out with friends and I’m lugging in my backpack with my books and stuff. But it was something that I was so excited about and that really just filled me. And I set about it. It was looking pretty good. Each year I was getting closer and closer. I was top student every year. And I was actually even taking college classes because I found that college classes could count for both high school and college and also wanted to be a little bit more challenged because I wasn't being very challenged in high school. I went to a really small high school. And it was all going great. And then lo and behold, my senior year of high school, a guy that was a really really close friend of mine, went to the administration and said that the college classes I took shouldn't count toward my high school GPA. And also that his GPA was technically higher than mine. And it really caught me off guard. I was shocked. I had no idea that he was even trying to do this or that he would ever do something like that to me. Again he was a close friend. I was just super devastated. Then on top of that, he actually got an attorney involved. And the administration came to me and basically said hey Ashley you should just give up, you should just let it go. You should just throw in the towel, like let him win. And I'm like, are you kidding me?

This isn’t something that I just decided to do today or this year. I've been working at this for years. There's no way I’m giving up. And, again, I was like that guy on the bottom who's mining the diamonds and he's exhausted. This was something I've been working on for a very long time. And about that time I had a conversation that I will never forget, with my Aunt Laveda. And what she said was this. “Ashley,  what God has for you, is for you, and nothing can stop that.” And she said it with such confidence. It was just easy. Yeah, it's up to you if you want to throw in the towel. It's up to you if you want to kind of give in on the fight. Ooh, that is exactly what I needed to hear. I needed someone to point out the fighter I was to remind me of what was inside of me. And I didn't give up. I kept fighting. Needless to say, it was me. It was Ashley Joseph at the time, who was standing on stage, summer of 2006 giving the valedictorian speech. 

So my question for you is, what is that for you? What are you about to throw in the towel on? Because here I am. I'm going to be Aunt Laveda in the scenario, and I'm going to tell you that it is yours if you will just keep pushing forward. That it’s within reach just like those diamonds. You just can't give up. Okay? So you see, that's an example of something on my resume that you could look at and say, oh wow, Ashley’s smart. Really it says Ashley's a fighter. And I know you can be a fighter as well. 

Lesson number two is, “Do You, Boo”. So your story is different from anyone else’s. It is the one thing in life that is uniquely yours. And success comes to those who are themselves, who own who they are. So, again on my resume, you will see that I had multiple job offers whenever I graduated. And you might see that and think, oh wow, Ashley was so smart. She must be super-duper special. Well, the truth is, is that I just took the road less traveled. That while my business colleagues were going on super-duper important prestigious internships during their summers in college. Ya girl was studying abroad, first in Milan, Italy. It’s where I took my first corporate finance class and I fell in love with finance. I know that sounds funny, but I did. I decided to choose it over accounting. I also, while in Italy, took a fashion course because, Italy. Milan. Duh, gotta do it. It was an amazing experience. And then the next summer again when I could have been doing like an internship. I was studying abroad in Ghana, which is in West Africa. And I was working with microfinance agencies. And, I tell you, it was one of the best experiences of my life. So when it came time to interview for jobs. I kind of really just stuck out to employers. My story was so different and intriguing. And I was interesting. So I ultimately got several job offers too from big consulting firms and some from huge banks. I ultimately decided to go to Wall Street and to be an investment banker. And so, ironically, I ended up in the same place as my colleagues who went the typical route of doing internships and solidifying a job that way. But I kind of just did something that resonated with my soul that made me excited. And again it tied with a goal that I had. Before I ever came to college I wanted to study abroad. And so, again, there's nothing wrong with having internships, those are great. That's important and that's awesome if it resonates with you. If it really feeds you. Because again, It wasn't that when I was carrying books around at my friend's house in high school as I was preparing to be valedictorian, that wasn't fun, necessarily. But it did light me up, you know. It made me excited because I knew I was working toward a goal I wanted. So it doesn't mean that you're going to just go through life doing all the fun stuff. But you do want to do things that tie to your core values and what's most important to you. Because again, what’s for you, is for you. Your route might look a little bit different and it's okay to own that. So my question for you is what is it that you're doing because you think is what you're supposed to do? It's because it's what everyone else is doing or what is kind of like the safe option, but it doesn't resonate with you at all.  Well, this is me, giving you permission to say, nope, not gonna do it that way. You can apply your secret sauce and be true to yourself and stand out from the rest. Okay? So, use wisdom, of course, and have great counsel. But you don't have to limit yourself to any social box or norm. All right?

Okay, now we're gonna move on to lesson number three. And this is another quote for you. “Never confuse a single defeat, with a final defeat.” That’s F. Scott Fitzgerald. It's one of my favorite. So, in this story, I get to New York City. And y'all, I have no idea what I'm doing. For real. It was a hot mess. Most of those in my analyst class had had internships. I hadn't, so I stuck out like a sore thumb. And I really had to hide these intense feelings of imposter syndrome because I didn't know the technology. I didn't know processes, what to expect, the lingo, all of that. I was just like, out here. And the learning curve for investment banking is already so steep. And on top of that, they put me in as the only analyst in two different groups. That's really strange already. It's weird to be the only analyst in one group. Normally there's a few analysts in a group. I was the only analyst in two groups. Why, Jesus? Why would you do that to me? So it was tough. But I had before, again and again, I figured it out, and I took one step at a time. But it came time for me to do my series 7 exam. And this exam is super important because I worked in securities, and so in order to do this job I had to pass this test, it was a huge deal. And guess what, I didn't pass. It was like a sucker punch to the gut. It just destroyed me. It was like those thoughts in my mind saying, “See Ashley. This is proof, you don't belong here. You don't know what you're doing. This is crazy. Why are you in New York City, working as an investment banking analyst? You need to go back home.” And I had to really push past those thoughts. I had to remind myself of who I was and do all I could do, which was try again. And guess what, when I did again, I passed. I didn't just pass that exam. But I ended up being the only analyst on a huge $4 billion IPO, which was like a landmark transaction for our firm, it was actually a really big deal. And on top of that, I ended up getting a 3rd-year offer, which was also a big deal at the time, and the opportunity to go to either London or Hong Kong, which was the actual goal I had in mind when I went to New York in the first place. I wanted to ultimately go work overseas, of course. I'm just so glad that I didn't let that one thing stop me because I would have never been able to experience the fruition of what my time there in New York could have been. So what is it for you that you failed, once or twice or multiple times? It doesn't matter, girl. Because it's not the end of you. You see, there's so much more for you. The world needs you, so you can't quit. And you will have what you need when you need it. You have more in you right now than you even know. Okay? 

I'm really big into making things as practical as possible. So live in the next seven days, the next week. I want you to write down one dream. We're going to just keep it super simple, one dream that you will not give up on. So in high school, this might have looked to me like valedictorian. I want to be the valedictorian. In college it might have looked like, I just want to graduate with a job. Whatever it is, write it down, and then underneath that, I want you to have four bullet points. And it's going to list out things that you can do, every single week until that goal is met. So there's going to be super practical things. If it's studies-related, it might be making sure to stay on top of your studies, making time to study. It might be to remove negative influences and only surround yourself with people who are going to really empower you, go-getters, people who are as excited about your success as you are about theirs. I want you to write down this list of four things underneath your goal, and I want you to stick that piece of paper on your bathroom mirror or in your journal or somewhere where you're going to see it every single day. Because let me tell you, success doesn't come in these big one-off moments. Success comes from the mundane, the small everyday decisions that you commit to being consistent in something that matters to you. All right? 

So you see, you don't have to be the smartest. You don't have to have the most money. I'm a first-generation college student. I worked four jobs in college in order to get through it. You don't have to have all the connections. I didn't know anyone when I moved to New York. The one person I knew had moved. You don't have to know any of that. You just have to believe in yourself and to keep putting one foot in front of the other. All right? 

So, I want to end by reciting the quote that I actually read in 2006, when I was graduating as valedictorian in high school. It’s a quote that means so much to me. It meant so much to me then and it means so much to me now and I hope it really motivates you. It's a quote by Theodore Roosevelt. It says, “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; yet who falls short again and again, for there is not effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great triumph; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at his best, in the end, knows the triumph of high achievement, and who at his worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be among those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.”

That quote gets me every time. It was so powerful sharing that quote in that moment after it had been such a tough year, my senior year of high school. So it's really kind of cool to be able to share it here, a decade, over a decade later, here on the pod that I would have never imagined I would ever have. 

Anyway, I hope you found that helpful, my friend. If you want to see a picture of the image I referred to of those mining men go to birdwilliams.com/podcast/28. Just so you know, for any of my episodes, you can always go to my website birdwilliams.com/podcast. You can see all the episodes there. I also include the show notes with links that I mentioned in episodes and that sort of thing. 

So if you know someone who could benefit from hearing this episode, please share it with them. Also, it would be so awesome if you could review the Bird Means Business podcast on Apple Podcasts. That will help the pod move up in rankings so that other business owners or business-owners-to-be can learn practical tips and strategies as they launch, and grow their businesses. All right. That's all for now, talk to you all next week.