BIRD WILLIAMS: You're listening to Bird Means Business Episode 33.

Hello, hello, hello, and thank you so much for joining me on the Bird Means Business podcast. I'm glad you're here. Like I say, all the time, but I mean from the bottom of my heart, it means a lot to me that you take time out of your day to join me here and share this space with me. And even though I'm sitting in my guest bedroom closet, which is my renovated podcast studio. I feel like I'm connecting with you. I feel that way because I do get awesome feedback from you all saying how helpful the podcast is. And if you've ever done a podcast or anything like it, you know that it is a labor of love. But it is so, so, so worth it because I want to be the resource that I wish I had when I launched my gym back in 2013 and did not know what I was doing and was Googling everything and making a bunch of mistakes and wasting a bunch of money and time and energy. I want to just try to provide a roadmap for you as you navigate your journey of entrepreneurship. So it means a lot to me that it's helpful to you, and I love it. So thank you again for being here. 

Okay, so now there is so much going on in my businesses right now. Like, it's kind of out of control for real. I mean, it was already aggressive, and then comes COVID-19, and social distancing and quarantine and all the things. And I really feel like I'm gonna look back on this time in my life, and think how, in the whole heck did I even do any of this, like for real. It is 100% beyond me at this point. And I actually want to do an episode about how it takes a village and really just honoring the people in my life who make all of this happen. I mean, people ask me genuine questions all the time of how do you do it all. And the answer is that I don't. I don't do it all. I have a tribe. I have people who I lean on for so many different things. That episode is coming. 

But today, I really want to just talk about how there will be times in your entrepreneurial journey where you have to be your own hype man or hype woman. That is so incredibly important to accept from jump. Today I'm going to keep it very chill, very relaxed, and go super unscripted here on the podcast so that I can really just encourage you and kind of just come from my heart around this topic because I know that we could all really use some encouragement right now especially us small business owner. So, the truth is, is that entrepreneurship can be lonely. And for most of us, we're the only entrepreneur in our circle. Our friends or family don't really understand what it is we're doing or how much work it requires. Or the fact that yes our schedule might be flexible, but that doesn't mean that I can just have coffee in the middle of the day all the time because I actually have to kind of hold my own self accountable. And you might even have friends or family members who mean well but are very critical of your business and how you should run things. Obviously, they don't understand the ins and outs. I even remember when we first launched our business or the first few years where it was mainly just me and Terry, and we had all these dreams for how to grow it and what to do with it. But we were strapped with cash. We weren't quite ready to hire onto our team or to expand in different ways. But we'd have people come to us and say oh you should do this and you should do that you should do this, which I love feedback. Like just ask my team at The League. Oh my goodness, I ask them that all the time. What can we do better? How can we improve as leaders in our business, for our clients, for our Leaguers? And I should probably mention my husband, Terry, and I, we own a gym here in Houston called The League and we have a team. They're amazing and I'm always like I said asking them for feedback because that's so important to me. But man, you could get feedback for your business in the wrong moment, and man it could just be really tough because you're thinking in the back of your head yes I would love to do that. I do know that and I have those ideas and dreams but I don't really have the capacity right now to do it and it's kind of tough hearing that. So, my point is, it's a wild ride. It's a lot. It's an emotionally charged journey and it's important that you are aware enough of where you are, mentally, emotionally, even physically, of course, as it comes to self-care and taking care of yourself. Because like I've said, your business will begin to smell of it. If you're not okay, your business will start to not be okay. So it's important to check in with yourself and say, okay, I need to encourage myself. I need to know what it is that I'm going to say or do in moments that are tough. What are the signs? What is my body telling me? What are those signals that my body gives me that I need to rest, that I need to stop and I need to pause and I need to delegate, that I need to talk with somebody and really do what I need to do to make sure that I can sustain in my business? 

So like I said entrepreneurship can be lonely. You could feel very distant from people around you as you walk through the process. Unless you're surrounded by other entrepreneurs, it can be tough. And that's even the case if you have a business partner. You guys know that my husband, Terry, and I are business partners with The League. We have a gym. And man I could not imagine a better business partner, hands down. But, gosh, there were so many times in our business where he had no idea what I was doing or what I was adding to the business, or how important it was for me to reach these milestones that again were important to me but he just was like clueless about. And then vice versa, right? There were times where he'd come to me with something really exciting and I'm just like, okay, because it's not really my lane. It's like, that's awesome. I don't really have it in me to even know that he needs more from me in those moments. So even as close as a husband and wife partnership, I can imagine with any kind of business partnership. You can't rely on that person to be the source of your encouragement. Sure they're there to support you and help you, absolutely. And Terry has been. All of that and more to me. But ultimately they're going to come times where there's going to be something that's important to you, despite what anyone else, your business partner, your mama, your daddy, your cousin, your best friend. Whoever it is. They might not be able to give you the encouragement you need. But you're going to need to be able to do that for yourself.

I can't tell you how many times that I've had to whisper underneath my breath, “Keep going, Ashley. Keep going.” Those are in the moments, especially in the craziness of quarantine that we're in right now where I know there was like a two-week period where I felt really foggy. Like I'd just zone out, and it was really hard for me because I thrive on productivity. I want to get as much done as I can in as little time as possible. And so, when I’d find myself with my fingers on my computer looking out into the distance, I don't even know where my brain went. It was so frustrating. But that was a sign that I began to realize, I need to pause. I need to go take a walk. I need to get some water. I need to move my body a little bit and then get back to work. But I remember whispering to myself, Ashley, keep going. Keep going.” 

We have to all hype ourselves up. I have to hype myself up too, even when it comes to things in my business that are scary. I know I've talked a lot about this. I definitely remember a time where I was asked to speak at a big organization, and I was really nervous about it. And I was just thinking, “Oh man, I hope I don't mess up. I hope it's good. I hope I deliver.” It was all me focused. And it wasn't until I actually saw Rachel Hollis. She did a blog on how to speak or speaking tips. And one of her first pieces of advice was to not make it about you and make it about the people you're serving. And I was like, whoa. That hit me in the gut because I would like to think that I am very serving-focused. That's a part of my core values, generosity. I want to be giving back. And I want to be making it about other people and not about me but that is not what I was doing, as I was having these spiraling thoughts about me being on stage speaking at this event. I was making it all about me. And I find that this happens so often as I talk to people. 

I have consultation calls, that you can book on my website. So I'm constantly having entrepreneurs and entrepreneurs-to-be joining me on those calls. Over and over and over again, I hear questions like, I have this amazing business. They're telling me about this business and I'm thinking this is incredible. I need this. And then it's always, I don't know if I can do it. I don't feel like I'm qualified I don't know if I need to do X, Y and Z. Get more of this or that. And there's all these limiting beliefs, and it's all centered around them because, again, that's our human nature, to so make it about us. When really if you think about the business that you're creating and think about the beauty and joy and life and happiness and wholeness, in a lot of ways, it's going to bring to so many people. Then it's okay if you mess up a little bit along the way because your goal is to serve and to help. It's okay to go through the messy middle when you know that it's for a much bigger cause when you remember your why. 

So that's really my encouragement when you start to beat yourself up in your head or when you start to just feel unmotivated or just down about all of the things going on in life and in business is to say, wait, why am I doing this? Oh wow, I'm going to be able to help kids. Oh, I'm going to be able to help people live healthier. Oh wow, I'm going to give people a space to repair their broken pasts. I'm going to, I'm just thinking about all the people I've been working with with cool things they're doing. It's like you're doing really cool stuff. So, making it about them is what's going to keep you going. 

One of the things I encourage different entrepreneurs that I work with, around your ideal client, is to actually create a profile for them. And to put it up in your office or, you know, for me coffee in this small hot podcast studio in my guest bedroom closet. Put a picture in a profile. And it's a fake profile. It's a fake person. But you want to really be able to visualize, who is this person that I'm serving? What are their pain points? What are their needs? How can I serve them better? It's just a constant reminder of what you're doing in the first place. 

So know that you're not alone. Know that we're all having to hype ourselves up and find innovative ways to do it, and just choose to show up every single day. Even when it's not perfect. Even when it's scary. Even when we have all the questions. And just do it afraid. 

I want to read this to you cause I was thinking about ways that I've had to hype myself up in my business. And this is something that I did early on when I first offered consultation calls. I went to my iPhone notes. I love iPhone notes, by the way, probably too much. And I did like a consultation call outline. And it was a statement. So this was like an outline for my consultation calls. If you know anything about me, you know that I'm all about systems and processes. I like to make things very easy and efficient and we can just keep it moving, so I'm not having to recreate every single time. And I was finding when I started Bird Williams, every time I got to a consultation call I would feel nervous and I feel like okay. What do I need to think about? How do I need to prepare for this? So, I eventually just created a consultation call outline. It was something that I could go to and say, Okay, this is what I'm going to try to get across on the call. And before I have my numbered list, explain to me where you are, what is it you're trying to accomplish, that sort of thing. Asking them questions about their business and business plan. Before I do any of that, I had this statement. And it's a statement I said. It's funny looking back at it now because I no longer have to do this. Now, this is very natural and almost easier for me now. But that was not the case when I started. So when I started this is what I read. And I know it might sound funny to y’all. I’m being super transparent but that's what I do. So here we go. 

It says. “I am smart. I am well trained. I am here to serve. I know what I'm doing. I take your business seriously. I aim to understand your business from multiple levels.” That's it. That's what I had to say every single time before a call and it just got me in the mind frame of, Ashley, you know what you're doing. You are great at this. You have done this for years, and you are coming from a good place. You are going to help these people. Don't do it out of fear. If you have to say this every single time before called to hype yourself up, then that's what you got to do. 

So I just encourage you to think about the areas in your business where you're like, I get stuck here. I get nervous here. I get afraid here. I need someone or something to hype me up and then hype yourself up. And it might look like an iPhone note that you write out, that you just read every time before you have a consultation call. Or it might be some other area in your business. But you just need to encourage yourself. It might be every single morning. I don't know if I've ever said this on the pod but I have a confession that I say every morning and I've done this since junior high, since I was like, 13, where I just say over and over. Now it hasn't been the same since I was 13. It's definitely evolved over the years. But it's something that from the start of my day I get my mind right. I set my intentions. I remind myself of who I am and whose I am and what I'm about. So I encourage you to do the same. 

What I wanted to share today was basically just that there will be many times in your entrepreneurial journey where you're going to have to hype yourself up. You're not going to be able to rely on the people around you. Don't focus your attention on frustration around them for not being able to support you. It's so important to have support. But even if you don't, you're going to be your support. You're going to hype yourself up. And you can do that in really practical ways by just finding those areas that are tough and putting something in there that reminds you of who you are, of your worth, of your strength, of your value, cause there is so much value in you. 

I’m hype right now because as I pick you up I'm getting hype. Because, again, I'm talking to these business owners and there is so much gold inside of them. I'm like, you are perfectly positioned to do this. You are called for this moment and now is the time. And it just bothers me so much to have, again, limiting beliefs, fear, doubt, insecurity, imposter syndrome. All these things that all of us deal with, but actually stopped people. That just irks me. So I don't want it to stop you. And you can tell I'm very passionate about this. So if you want to chat about it, you know you can always DM me on Instagram, or we can have a consultation call or whatever it takes for you to just feel like, I'm on the right path. I know what I'm doing. I have a game plan. I want some kind of structure. Or I want you to help me come up with a little two seconds, two minutes, whatever, saying that I say before these tough moments so that I can hype myself up. If you don't come up with it yourself, which I think you can totally do. Just sit down. Become present with where you are. Have some self-awareness about where you are in your journey and where your pain points are and issues are. And say okay, I need to hype myself up here and here and here. And then just create practical, tangible things that you can do in those moments so that you can serve the people who you're called to serve. When you think of it that way, it's like, yeah I can't not. I can't allow silly fears to stop me, because there's a whole group of people whose lives will be better because I said yes because I push past the fear. 

All right. So, keep going. Remember, you've done much harder things. We've all gotten through quarantine, Lord Jesus. So we've all survived some tough times and obviously some have been tougher than others, especially during this time. But you've done harder things, you know, and you have the choice to push on or to not, it's up to you. So I hope this encouraged you. I hope you know that you're not alone. There are other entrepreneurs who are feeling the same things, battling the same things. And you have to just win by choosing to show up, choosing to say yes. Okay, I'm gonna stop. I just get really passionate about this. 

So, if you have an entrepreneur friend who needs to be encouraged, please share this episode with them. Share the love. As I said, you're not alone. If you're feeling these things, other entrepreneurs are feeling these things, as well, despite how #girlboss or I'm my own CEO or look at me stunt. Despite how great things may seem, we're all dealing with needing encouragement and needing to be hyped up. Share the episode with them if you feel they need that encouragement and then you know you could hype somebody up. You could always gas somebody up real quick. 

I love. Okay, I know I said I was done but I'm not clearly. I love calling out the greatness in people and Sahar Paz was recently on the pod and she talked about this and I just loved it. I feel so often that I'm like Ashley, don't be weird, because I want to encourage people so much. Like on social media, if I see someone doing great, “You're crushing it. You're so amazing. Keep going.” I don't want to be over the top but I feel like you can't compliment people enough. In the store I see people, I’m like, “Girl, I love your earrings.” “Oh my gosh, your smile is beautiful.” And I'm like, Ashley you're gonna be a weirdo, but I kind of don't care. I don't care if I'm a weirdo because I'm nice and encouraging to people. So you can do the same. If there's an entrepreneur in your life who, you know has been showing up or is trying, just let them know, “Hey I see you, and you're crushing it. I want to support you and I'm so proud of you.” You will not know how far that will go. So that's it. I'm gonna stop now. 

Again, I'm just so grateful you're here. And thank you for sharing this space with me and I look forward to talking to you next week.