BIRD WILLIAMS: You're listening to Bird Means Business, Episode, 63. 

Hi there. We have another really exciting guest on the show this week. And we're doing something a bit different that I think you're gonna really love. My husband, Terry has been on the show several times. But I'm not sure that I've given him a proper introduction recently. He goes by Terry the Trainer on Instagram. And though I'm biased, he has the biggest heart of anyone I know. Y’all I've seen him give the same effort and attention to each and everyone across the board, whether it's a client or professional athlete or a young student or a superstar. He gives his all to love people well. And I couldn't be more grateful to know him, let alone be married to him. So, he's going to take us through a mindset coaching session in today's episode, and just know it is going to be good. He does this same mindset coaching with professional athletes, with corporate groups in various organizations. So, you're in for a real treat. You're gonna want to have a pen and pad for this one as there will be some journaling prompts. But if you're running or washing the dishes or driving, no worries at all. Just feel free to follow along and come back to the episode when you can really dive in. And I've got you covered. If you go to the link in the show notes, you'll see a mindset coaching worksheet, which will help you follow along throughout the episode. So, each step of what Terry will cover is actually listed in this worksheet that you can download for free. So be sure to print it out and allow it to guide you as you follow along. And you might be thinking, “Wait, this is a business podcast. So why are we talking about mindset coaching?” Remember, I'm helping you build a better brand, one that you think about holistically. And especially in those early years as the CEO or founder, if you aren't driving your business can't either. If you don't make space for things like mindset coaching, you will find yourself unfulfilled, unmotivated, confused, and misaligned. Y’all we make time for our budgeting and for our marketing strategy and for improving our products and services. So, let's make some time for us too. 

Now before we jump in, if you listen to Episode 61 on diversity in your business, and then Episode 62 on preparing for tax time with Erin Lashley, you may have noticed that there was something missing last week. Y’all, I completely forgot to include the Black History Month “Do You Know” segment in last week's episode. Errr! When I realized it I wanted to kick myself because that is terrible on so many levels. But, here we are, and we're picking it back up and this week's is really fun. Did you know that an African American NASA scientist accidentally invented the Super Soaker? Yeah. Dr. Lonnie Johnson is responsible for inventing one of the best toys of the 20th century. And when it came about, he was actually working on something else, a new idea for a heat pump that would use water as a working fluid instead of Freon. He was trying to be more environmentally conscious and use water instead of Freon. The scientist, an engineer, is responsible for over 100 patents and has been making toys since he was a kid. How neat is that? I'll definitely have to share the story with my two little boys. If you want to read the full article from CNN, check out the link in the show notes. 

And as a reminder this month-long “Did You Know” segment was inspired by my friend, Nina Harrison, who for years has posted the most powerful stories of African American trailblazers on her Instagram during Black History Month. I'll also tag her Instagram in the show notes, so you can give her a follow and learn even more. 

Alright, let's dive into this mindset coaching session with Terry. 

Alright, Terry. Ready for this mindset coaching session?

TERRY WILLIAMS: Are you ready? You know, you have no idea what you’re in for. 

BIRD: I really don’t.

TERRY: But I’m gonna be driving this thing.

BIRD: I really don't know what I'm in for guys. So I’m right here in the session with you. We’re gonna do this together. Let’s go!

TERRY: Yeah, So real quick I just want to say to everybody who's listening, this is a great one to have a pen and a pad for. Maybe you don't and you can't control that. I, for example, like listen to a good podcast when I'm out running sprints. There's no way I can sit and take notes. However, I can really take in the content, focus in, and learn a ton from it.

I would say this though. When you're on the go, you’re driving, you're doing dishes or whatever, while you're listening, definitely make a plan. Set it in your smartphone calendar for when you’ll listen again, at a time that you're truly undistracted. It's you, a pen and pad. The reason I say that is because I want you to get the most out of this, because this isn't the kind of thing where it’s just cutesy, and “Oh okay, I took some notes. Maybe I'll revisit them later”. Literally, right there in the moment as you're taking notes and seeing the words you write, those words are going to be speaking back to you, informing you of things about you, that might be really neat to apply later. So, this will be cool.

BIRD: I’m excited.

TERRY: Hold that thought. Bird, what are you thinking about right now? And for listeners, while she tries to retrieve a thought, I'm catching you guys red-handed too. What is the thought that's in your brain right now? It doesn’t need to be a sophisticated, cute, or awesome answer. Just an honest answer for like, what was that last thing that was just floating around in your head. 

BIRD: That's a good one. I'm not as present as I'd like to be sometimes. So sometimes it's hard for me to even think, “What was I just thinking?” But I think I was thinking, whether that I should do all the other stuff I had planned to do this evening before going to bed, or if I should just go to bed.

TERRY: Okay, awesome. Okay, and so for everybody listening, I kind of wonder what your thought is, and it's for you to have. But I want you to actually take inventory. Actually, reflect on like what was that thing. I noticed that in Bird’s thought, it was a future-focused thought. I wonder if that was how that began. And a lot of times our thoughts are either in the past, or they're in the future. We don't spend a whole lot of time in the present. It's not a bad thing. It's a real thing. Research shows us that 47% of the time, our thoughts are not focused on the present moment. And what we're going to do in this session is gonna rely on some present moment awareness. So, we'll get present here in a little bit, and kind of figure out how much time we personally spend in the present moment. We’ll estimate that. And then we'll dial into some real present moment awareness to get some goods going here where we’ll learn some things about ourself. 

So, Bird’s thought was in the future. Maybe your thought was in the past. So for example, “Ah, why did I say that to my boss today? That was so silly. I wonder if. Nah, that, that might…Okay I’ll hear about that later. That’s gonna come with consequence.”  Or, “I’m really worried about this ice storm that's coming. I was supposed to drive to… You know what, forget it. I'll figure that out tomorrow.” Right? So, we do a lot of thinking in the past in the future. We don't do a whole lot of thinking like right here right now where my feet are planted. I'm fully present, and I'm focused on what's in my hands in the moment. 

So, first activity. If you got pen and pad I want you to draw three equal size shapes on a paper. So for example, this could be drawing a big rectangle and then putting two lines in it, at the one-third and two-thirds mark, making it essentially three side by side rectangles on your page. If that was confusing at all. Forget it, draw three circles. Doesn't matter. You need three shapes, same size, on one page. 

Now, in these, you're going to put 10 dots. Don't put a single dot yet because you can get the instructions here. 10 dots, each of which represents 10% of your thoughts on a daily basis. One of these buckets represents past. One represents present. One represents future. Your daily thoughts. What percentage of these, or how many dots out of these 10, are in the past? And let’s go and get fully present in the past first. Let’s sit in the past and think, “What percentage of my thoughts are past tense?”

Maybe in a simple regard that just means, “Did I forget to? Oh., no-no. I did it.” But maybe in a more severe example, it's shame. It's regret. It's, “I wish I would have or wouldn't have”. Right? And then after you have some number of dots there in the past, we’ll now jump forward beyond the present into the future. We’ll do the same thing. Go into the future. Now, simple thoughts in the future, non-consequential ones are things like, “I hope I get a chance to…” Or, “Oh I hope I don’t forget to… I got to … Tomorrow I need to…” Right? And then in a bigger sense, just like in the past you had those shame or regret. In future tense, those big ones could be more of anxiety or worry, right? Or doubt or fear for what may come. So after you’ve gone past and after you’ve gone future, now we come to the present. And how many dots do you have left? Dump that into the present tense, because that shows you what you're left with in the present moment. After you've done 47% of your thinking for the day, that was a mind wandering.  Now 47%. Don't let that number throw you off. That's an average figure. It’s going to be different from person to person. 

Bird, how many dots did you have in the past?

BIRD: I have two dots in the past. I have two dots in the present. And I have six dots in the future.

TERRY: So you, for example, spend 60% of your average daily thought-life, focused on the future. What does that look like for you? Is it doubt, fear, worry, anxiety, hope?

BIRD: It’s hope. It’s anxiety. It’s planning. Kind of like problem solving. If this doesn’t work out I can do this. What’s my plan, ABCD? I’m always in my schedule, my calendar. So it's like, “Oh, this moved. What does that affect for the next…” You know what I mean?  I'm always kinda shifting my to-do’s around in my calendar. So I spend a lot of time there.

TERRY: That’s amazing. You used a good word there too. Calendar. So, for our listeners, what does that look like for you? Take a moment, think about it. Maybe you're like Bird, and you are perpetually in the future. Maybe you're the exact opposite. You're perpetually in the past. Wish you could go back and redo things. Wondered if you did things correctly. Right? Almost nobody is going to have anything more than four dots in the present. So you're not broken if you're stuck in the future or you're stuck in the past. 

A quote from Bob Goff, one of my favorite authors was, “The battle for our hearts is won and lost on the pages of our calendar. Where are we spending our time is going to inform where our heart is.” I’ll let you think through that, sift that, apply that as you wish. We'll go and dive in. 

So now, we're here, we're in the moment. Go ahead and clear all distractions to the best of your ability. You can't find the clutter in your mind that worries about something to come. Or expresses regret about something that's past. But try your best to be here now, as I like to say. So maybe that means turning off a smartphone. Turning off the TV. Letting anybody in the room with you know like. “Okay. I'm going to need a minute.” Let me go to another room and close the door. Do whatever you got to do the fully present, and we're gonna do a little game I call the Four H's. Some self-reflective thinking, nothing super deep. It's really simple. And I think should keep it simple, because the answers that just come off the top of the dome are going to be the realest ones, the ones that inform us most about what's actually going on right here in the present moment. 

So, first H is hero. I want you to think about somebody that’s a hero for you. And before you go jotting down a name, I want you to think about, hang with me here, think about a person dead or alive, if you could have two hours of their time, go to a really nice dinner with this person. It’s your one only opportunity to spend time with them. Who is that person? Now, again, before you go writing, let's not go cliche hero here. Let's go, what is your definition of hero? What does it mean to you, this stage in your life, considering who you are, what you're about, what you do. Right? And so for example, when I was a little boy, my heroes had big capes. When I was a teenager, my heroes have big muscles. Now as a father, my heroes have big hearts. So I could go with the arbitrary hero, so and so who was an incredible leader. So and so, who is my own father? Right? There's those kinds of deals. Or I could look across the street and see my neighbor, putting his kids in the car on the way to school, and it resonates with me like, “Man, he’s such a great dad.” Something in me wants to just be the best dad I can be. And for that reason, he’s something like a hero to me. 

Now after talking through and thinking that through, who’s your hero? Write it down. Bird’s got the eyes going. She’s thinking. Hopefully, you do too, listener.  Hopefully, you're thinking this through. And not just arbitrarily plotting down that first thing that came in your head. But challenging some beliefs here. Doing a little probing, exploring. And when you find out that hero, go ahead and jot their name down. And then we're gonna talk about this hero. We’re going to dissect this hero. Okay, let's take the cape off the hero and talk about who they really are. 

So Bird’s got a name written down. And don't say that name. I want you to tell me your hero by only listing their superpowers and not their name. So, for those who are listening, what I want you to do is extract three values that you see this hero carrying that resonate with you. And so Bird, I'll ask you that as well. Your hero, again don't give me their name. But give me access to their superpowers, right? So, pull out three values that they carry, that you’re reaching for. Or that they hold, that you hope for. This person is my hero because, man, they have a firm grip on X, Y, and Z. And all those things inspire me. And those are things that I want to someday have, that maybe I do have and don't really own the full expression of. Or maybe I don't have and I feel like man that just seems so out of reach, that’s why they’re wonderful to me. Or maybe it's like I do have it, and dang-it I’ve quenched that. I haven’t stepped up with it. What are those three values for you if you don't mind sharing it audibly?

BIRD: One would be resilience. This person is completely resilient, has been through so much in her life. And continues to press forward and strive for her best, to be your best self. Another is generosity. She's way generous.  Like something that's really important to me, but she kind of is radically generous and I love that. And also just courage. She says what she means. Like she will say it and she's honest and she puts herself out there. And she's bold and I really am inspired by that. 

TERRY: That's awesome. That's awesome. So, we had resilience, generosity, and boldness.

BIRD: Courage, yep.

TERRY: Courage. That's really cool. So, do you feel like you possess any of those? Do you feel like you have the potential to possess those and sell yourself short on them? Do you feel like you're acing any of those things? Do you feel like you're totally failing at any of those things if you're honest with yourself? And listener, I'm asking you this question too, though I’m not sitting with you and watching you journal this. I want you to think about it.  Those three core values that you have distilled from your superhero. Their superpowers, so to speak. You feel like, “Oh man, these are all like totally out of reach. I got nothing on this person. Just inspired by them. That's it.” Or, “You know, I kind of can see how I might carry a little bit of that and I wonder how I can step into it.” How about you, Bird?

BIRD: I think I do resemble aspects of these in different areas, and I wish I could, you know, maybe be more thorough and it'd be more of a thread throughout all the areas in my life. I think there are some things I can be courageous about, you know, when it comes to business because I feel like I have more of a level of comfort there cause of my experience. But then when you look at, you know, self-care or motherhood even. Since it's so new, with being a mom, I second guess myself and I have those thoughts sometimes. And I should say this person when it comes to being resilient, she is. But she also balances it with rest and I think that's a superpower she has too. I would look back at my life and say, yeah, I'm super resilient. I've pressed through so many hard times. But sometimes I'm too, too resilient. I don’t know if that’s a thing. But you know, I’m too much wanting to press on. And when I need to take a step back and pause. She does a great job of that. So I guess resilience and rest is something I could work on.

TERRY: That’s great. Okay, we’re going to come right back into that. I want to pause you here. The paradox of power, because I think a lot of people are probably going to be in the same boat as you on this because this is another one of those natural things. Kinda like we talked about present moment awareness. Right? And so, let's go to the resilience thing for example. I want to go go go. Do everything. And yet it might say resilience to me. But I know when I look at my hero and how they do it, they're actually more resilient because they're more restful, which sounds backward to your mind. But it's like a fact of life. You gotta, you’re gonna keep running these sprints. Then you got to rest as well. And then you could run a marathon distance that is made up of sprints. Right? And so, the paradox of power. We see a person with a flexed muscle on the cover of a fitness magazine, and that represents to us the idea of strength. But that muscle is actually devoid of strength because all the blood that could be pumped to that thing to form the contraction has already been spent. And it is now powerless. But if it was relaxed, then it's ready. And then it can be more resilient because, in a moment, it has reflex. Right? And so, it's funny how that works, right? You're actually more courageous when you do something afraid. Otherwise, it didn't cost you courage. Courage is nowhere in the equation. Right? You are more generous, sometimes, when you hold back on your financial reserves because it affords you the ability to now have the capacity to be generous.

BIRD: Or you're more generous when you say no. And it's so funny. That sounds like a paradox, like what's your saying. But this person actually is telling me to say no more. 

TERRY: Because what you say no to, determines what you can say yes to.

BIRD: Exactly. I can go deeper with what I have and be more generous in that way, if I’m not saying yes to everything, basically. I have to say no to some things. 

TERRY: Because if you understand your purpose and you say no to the things outside of your purpose, now you have a bigger yes to your purpose. Crazy, how that works. 

Okay, so hero.  The big question before we really took it to a place that helps you kind of drive home your relationship with these values that you're seeing. We use Bird as an example there. The big question was these values. Do you feel like they're out of touch, or out of reach I should say? Or you have them within reach, but not in your grasp? Are you acing them? Are you flunking ‘em? Like where are you at on those? And an interesting thing here, a little neurology. There are these things called mirror neurons in our brains. And it basically is like, you see something, and you resonate with it and almost mirror it back. It's just something in the way that God made us that our brains work this way. So, let's say that somebody you're on a conference call with on Zoom. They're known for being like super vibrant and today they just have a stank attitude. You can almost guarantee you're gonna feel a little bit like grumpy, slimy, kinda like, I don't really have time to deal with you today. Just the way that works. Well, the same thing happens with inspiration. This isn't super deep. It's just facts. It's just real-ish.  The way the human brain works. It’s just the way we're built. When you see something in somebody that you admire deeply and would say, “That inspires me”, the actual reason it inspires you is because it's something that is inside of you. It might not be coming out to the full like you're seeing in the person that you're looking up to. Right? But it's basically your core values, things that you want to possess because you were innately designed to pursue those things and be great at those things. And we have different levels, maybe you know like, “Man I've been procrastinating. I haven’t worked on, you know, strengthening that muscle to be that thing.” Or maybe it's, “Yeah, I’m really trying, but not really seeing success in it.” Or, “Yeah, I’m getting traction on this thing.” Doesn't even matter what level you're at with it. Those things that you see in somebody else that inspire you. They hold the power to reveal to you, what you have the seeds inside of you for, that if you were to water them, you can grow a fruitful harvest of those things. So when I see somebody being a great dad and I know that one of my core values is to be an excellent father, I see somebody being a great dad. I'm inspired by them. And I can almost go to the place of, “I wish I could just be crushing it like that dude is.” But in reality, there's a reframing that needs to happen in my thinking because it's like, man, I must possess the capability to do those kinds of things, and I can ask different questions now. What would it take for me to have that kind of patience with my kids? What can I be doing on a daily basis, that would help me to have that much fully engaged fully present fun with my kids? Right? And so that's my challenge to everybody who's done that first piece of exercise. Heroes. Those three values. Those superpowers. What if I told you the seeds are already in you? Whether it's blooming as a tree or it's still just buried under dirt and getting trampled on. The seed is there. You determine the harvest. What would it take? What would it look like to step into those values? 

Now we’ll cross the street. We're gonna go from hero to our second H, which is highlight. And we’re gonna position this within the past year. So, here's the question, and then we'll do a little digging. But here's the question. In the past 365 days, what is your biggest highlight moment? Before you write something down, really think this through. And I'm going to paint this picture with my words and let's journey through it. I love hiking. If you were to be like, “Hey, T, you get three days off. You can be anywhere in the world, doing anything you want.” You can almost bet on it. I'll be out in the mountains, in some trail, where I get no cell phone service and hiking. The thing about hiking is it always sucks and it never sucks. And what I mean by it always sucks is, you have elevation gain. You got uneven ground. You got the realism of being out in the elements. If it's hot, you're feeling it. If it's cold, you're feeling it. If it rains, it's hitting you. Right? You have all these big questions that happen like, man, how long is this trail? Am I sure I didn’t take a wrong turn? Where in the world is the finish line on this thing? Did I pack too much in this backpack because it's getting a little heavy and I got more climbing to go? Wait, maybe I didn't pack enough. Do I have enough snacks and water, cause I've been out here for hours? But then you get to the peak of a mountain. And this is the payoff. This doesn't suck. All of a sudden at the peak of a mountain, I forget about all the work I had to put in to get to the mountaintop because I have this moment. I have this priceless mountaintop moment that nobody can take away from me. Nobody earned for me. And I'm here at a point now where even if it is a rainstorm, I get sunshine, because I'm above the clouds. I'm undefeated, and I'm unstoppable. With this carpet being the clouds that I'm above and it's just me in the sunshine. The only thing I can see from here is the other mountaintops. It’s the only thing poking through the clouds. I don't know how long it would take me to get there. What the route is to it. How much the journey would suck to get there. I just know that if I got to those next mountaintop points, being there wouldn't suck. So I'm willing to go all in because here is fulfillment. This is my mountain top moment. 

In the past 365 days, what's your biggest highlight? Your mountain top moment? Want you to take a second. Think about it, and jot down what comes to you. Don't think too long or too hard. But maybe you treat it like a hike or any visual that helps you. Any journey-based thing where it's like, man it was a journey but I got here. And I wouldn't trade it for anything else, it was worth the journey it took.  Bird you wrote something down. What you got? What’s your highlight? 

BIRD: My highlight, my mountain top moment would be when I finally connected with baby girl. If you're listening and you don't know I am 26 weeks pregnant. We have two little boys and this is a baby girl, and I say my highlight moment was when I connected with her, she's still in utero. And not when I found out I was pregnant because when I found out I was pregnant, I was very surprised. And I had actually been working on a rebrand of Bird Williams and had pulled an all-nighter. Like I was up all night, literally, and took a pregnancy test. And so I felt some guilt around, “Oh my gosh. I’m pregnant, pulling all-nighters. And oh my goodness, I don’t know if I’m ready for this.” And it took me a while to actually connect with her. And that happened much quicker with the boys. And so, that journey was a process. It was a lot of things to get to that mountaintop in a sense. To really kind of get to where I felt connected to her. But I did. And it’s been really, really sweet. I think it’s really important for you to have that connection while you’re carrying a little one.

TERRY: What did that unlock for you, feeling that sense of connection with her for the first time?

BIRD: Oh, so many things. But I would say mainly that just a peace and an acceptance and a readiness to welcome her. You know, before I felt connected to her, which I don’t know if you’ve never been pregnant, it might be hard to understand. But, to have something inside of you and not feel connected to it can be very odd. And it’s very important, at least to me, to have that. So, I was afraid that I would deliver her and still not have that moment to be connected to her. And that was a little scary. So, once I started to connect with her, it felt like, ok I can fully embrace this pregnancy. I can fully embrace what’s happening. I’m ready for this next season, you know. It felt right.

TERRY: That’s huge. So hopefully when you hear Bird talking this through, it’s helping you to kind of distill the idea of fulfillment for you. The idea of successfully achieving something. The idea of what a mountaintop moment feels like. And I want you to think for yourself and write it down. Write it down, put it in writing. What is your highlight moment in the past 365? And also kudos to you, Bird, and everybody listening, for your vulnerability in expressing a highlight moment. I know it could be seen as easy to write down something good that happened. But, let’s be real. The last 365, majority of those days, were spent in a pandemic. A lot of us with mandatory business closures. Or just being in quarantine stuck at home. People getting laid off. People tragically losing loved ones. I hope that that’s not triggering. And I apologize if so. But I just wanna get all the way real in celebrating your boldness and vulnerability in journeying through that and pulling out a great moment in a hard time. 

And now we’re gonna talk about the hard time, our third H. After Hero and Highlight is Hardship. We talked about hiking, that mountaintop moment. That moment you’ll never forget because the view was insane. And you’re like, OMG, I’m above the clouds and I got here on my own two feet. This is wildly fulfilling. Now we go to the opposite direction - in the valley. In the valley, it doesn't matter if it's a warm day. You're stuck in the shadows and you feel a coolness. In the valley, if it begins to rain, you are underneath the clouds. And you're taking on all that rain. You’re wet. Your gear is wet. Your socks are wet. In the valley, it's not like you're on top of a mountain. In fact, there's a mountain in your way. It’s the low point. It’s the dark place. 

In the past 365 days, what is the deepest, darkest valley you’ve experienced hardship? Take a moment. Think about it. Write it down. And again friends, as you're listening, this is one that you’ll want to write down. You’ll want this. You’ll want your own words to talk back to you, so it's important that you see it. It’s important that you do the activity of writing it. 

BIRD: So for me, it would be something that I cannot talk about publicly, yet. But that, you Terry know we've been going through for a year. And something that we thought we would see the fruit of a year ago, and we're still in the valley. And so I guess what's even hard to kind of talk to it, is because we're still in the valley. You know, it's not like that triumphant story of breakthrough yet. In terms of that, we're still there and trying to figure it out and navigate through it. And so I mean, there have been so many ups and downs with it. And there have been, I think, like 90% of the time, I've been able to handle the hard moments, the disappointment. But, there have been those 5% of times where I just feel, very low. I guess it's never going to happen? Are we going to ever break through this? And those would definitely my lowest point over the last 365 days. 

TERRY: Um, yeah. Waiting is hard. Waiting is hard. I love how you said the word “yet”. That's amazing. 

BIRD: It's gonna happen. 

TERRY: Yeah, you said “yet”, like, it hurts that it's not here. But when I'm hurting I'm still hoping, knowing that it will eventually be here. And I want to say to everybody listening, that hardship you wrote down, whatever that is. That's for you. Your lived experience. It’s valid, and it matters. Right? No matter what it is, you can't think oh this is silly that I'm writing this down. It’s small compared to somebody else's. Or, this is so big and traumatic. I don't think anybody else could compare to it. Everybody's pain is personal. Right? But, in your place of hardship, know this. The definition of a valley is a low lying point between two peaks.

So if you've experienced a mountaintop moment in the past, and you find yourself in the opposite of the mountaintop, but now in the valley. Know that, by definition, you're coming back. You'll be on top eventually. It may look different than you thought it would. It may take longer than you thought it would. It might even show up looking better than you ever could have imagined it. And it becomes worth the wait because you relinquished control and something glorious came out of that. You never know how it will play out. But I bet it will. So a question that I'll throw you, Bird. For your hardship, what is a value you've had to lean into to support you or strengthen you in your hardship?

BIRD: That's an easy one because it is 1,000% my faith. That is the value that there's just no other. If it weren't for my faith, I wouldn't have the hope that you mentioned. I wouldn't be saying the “yet”. I would have probably given up, would have had so many excuses. It would have been so many “forgivable”, “you tried”. “It's okay to let it go.” “It’s not like you really quit.” You know what I’m saying? It would have been excusable.  But because of my faith, and just feeling like I have heard something from God and it's something we're purposed to do, I’m pressing on. So, yeah.

TERRY: That’s amazing. And that ties into something you said before that you see in your hero, which was resilience. That faith, that value of faith you carry, gives you access to that value you admire which is resilience. Which means that even in a valley, you can believe that you're going to see the next mountaintop. Huge. See how this all ties together? 

BIRD: I do! I’m loving it!

TERRY: So hopefully, for those listening, obviously we're not in a personal conversation, one on one right now. But I hope that you're hearing this, tracking with it, taking notes and that it's actually making sense. That your own words are talking back to you. And some things are beginning to be revealed here. Cause I think for Bird we’re unlocking some things and it’s really awesome. 

BIRD: We are. I’m grateful.

TERRY: Last H is Hope. We talked Hero. We talked Highlight. We talked Hardship. Now we're talking Hope. And we're going to issue a Hope statement. You’re going to build a Hope statement. We talked about your biggest highlight in the last 365 days, your biggest hardship in the last 365 days. We spent some time in the past. I want you to be fully present here, determining what the future will look like. So you're going to write the following words, which is going to be a sentence that you'll need to finish yourself. It's going to say, “In the next 365 days, comma, I will …” You determine how that sentence ends. And for those of you, writing this down at home, “In the next 365 days, I will …”

And before you finish that sentence think back to that hero, but forget their name. Forget their face. Forget how awesome they dress. Forget any personal attribution connected to the physical or visual personage of this hero. And see them without their cape. See them only by their superpowers.

So Bird no longer sees the person that she admires and looks up to. Bird sees resilience. Bird sees generosity. Bird sees courage. And it informs what she'll do in the next 365 because she now understands that she has these things within reach, or she never would have been inspired by them in the first place. She can also reflect on her hardship and say, “What did I lean into in that hardship, and what it unlocks for me in terms of core values?” She can also reflect back on her highlight and say, “Why was that so fulfilling for me? Why did that mean so dang much to me? Why did that thing feel like a mountaintop for me? Cause it informs me on what fulfills me.” 

So now you're able to say the next 365 days, I will. And the thing that you finish this sentence with shows that things that have inspired you are inside of you. Shows that you understand what brings you fulfillment. And what you lean into when you lack fulfillment. And it gives you a really clear answer to how you can step more fully into those core values and shine in that lane that you've looked at and admired. It shows you how you can step in and be that when you have your statement written down, and you’ve completed that sentence. Bird, if you don’t mind, I’d love for you to read it out loud.

BIRD: Yes. My hope statement is, in the next 365 days, I will keep going and keep giving. And I think that ties in resilience, the keep going; generosity, with keep giving; and really courage is both of those. It takes courage to keep going. It takes courage to keep giving as well. 

TERRY: Amazing. And so for anybody else who has written this down, I want you to, even if it feels a little silly, cause maybe you're all alone. I want you to say out loud what your hope statement is. And I want you to know that this hope is not just, “Oh I hope. I wish. I think maybe.” This is a statement of your hope being an anchor. Bird, you referenced your faith earlier. I find it interesting that in scripture it says, in The Book of Hebrews, “This hope is an anchor for my soul.” Like hope is a thing, we've turned it into a cute little word to put on signage and holiday things. But hope is like, this is an anchor for my soul? This is the thing that helps me to not sink or to go astray, or drift away with every current. Like this is, I'm here because of hope. Right. You're here because of this statement. You're fully present in this moment based on your past learnings, leaning into your future which is bright, fruitful, and victorious, because of what you're stepping your foot in the ground, what you're anchoring in right here right now saying, “This is what I will do.” You get to determine what this next year looks like for you. Taking it a step further, let's make a goal. A 12-month goal. What practically does it look like for you to live into what that statement was? 

And I want you to pick up three practices. Number one, do a small thing that becomes a habit. Just do this little thing daily. What little thing can you do toward it? Right?  If Steph Curry is my hero and I want to become the greatest shooter of all time like him. Well, I’m gonna shoots some 3’s every day, right? That’s probably a really bad analogy. I don’t know. But, just a thought there. So, what little thing can you do every day? Because you can’t do everything. What little thing can you do every day and try to make it a daily habit? And then to, who will you tell? What friend will you let in on this for accountability purposes? And three, what little thing will you do to reward yourself when you have done a good job on this habit formation? 

Brian Tracy, author of “The Power of Self Discipline”, one of my favorite books, says that when you have a goal you got a 4% chance of reaching it. That’s bleak. 

When you have a goal, and you write it down, you have a 44% chance of reaching it. You've already 11 X’d your goals, just by playing along with what we set you up to win within this session anyway - writing it down!

But if you have a goal, and you write it down, and you have a reward system that encourages you to keep going, so it's not just a daily thing, but it becomes a habit. And you tell a friend and have actual dates on your calendar, at a certain time, day, and location where you can talk about how it's going. How it's really going: where you're failing, where you're succeeding. Within that relationship of trust with a friend, now, your chance of succeeding goes up to 96%. So we've crossed the street from 4% to 96%, just on the premise of “I kinda have a goal” to “I have a goal, and accountability in place, and a reward system for when I'm winning, and a commitment to daily do it.” The 4 Ds. Daily Doings Determine Destiny. The little things you're doing every day gonna determine who you’re going to be later on. Everybody wants to talk about how it sucks to try to build healthy habits. It’s so hard. I can't do it. I'll never get it right. Guess what, you brushed your teeth this morning, and you'll do it again tonight. You have habits that are deeply ingrained in who you are because they've become routines and rituals. They're almost involuntary. You don't think about it. You're half asleep when you start brushing your teeth in the morning. And you might not even remember getting the job done today. But you probably did an excellent job cause you've been in a routine for years or even decades now of doing that for two solid minutes every single morning. Make it a ritual and that’s how you win. 

BIRD: Yes. Loving this.  

TERRY: What did you get out of this? 

BIRD: Am I supposed to say mine or no? 

TERRY: Sure. What is it you want to share for this? What are your reflections, your insights? 

BIRD: Oh man, this has been really great. I'm married to you and I know you do this. But I've never been in a full session to go through all of this with you. And, it's really eye-opening. And I think it's so awesome that I can really go in with you, you know, and go through all of this in terms of my personal situation. But I know there are a lot of people listening who are like, hanging on the edge of their seat, like this was really good. And I want to kind of have that experience too. And I know you said earlier, you know, I know I'm not in a personal conversation with you. I am with Bird, here. But I just want people to know that they can go to your website and book a session with you at terrythetrainer.life, to be able to do this with you one on one. And it's just so super powerful. So anyway I didn't, I wasn't even trying to plug. But it's just, I know that if I were listening, I would want to know that. So I think really, I am reframing in this conversation, my goals. I think I have goals listed for my business's - revenue goals, growth goals. And I'm really realizing through this conversation and others that have led up to it that, rest is a key factor in me being able to keep going and keep giving. Keep going is something that’s even something we talk about at The League. It’s one of the core values at The League. But we have rest periods in our workouts, right. And we don't just, you know, workout straight for 45 minutes. 

TERRY: And if we didn’t have those rest periods we couldn't keep going through the full workout cause it's too rigorous to do if you’re just going straight through.

BIRD: Exactly. Those rest periods are actually powerful. And I am not taking rest periods. I am just going full throttle. And so, I’m …

TERRY: You’re saying, in business and with your goals and with the things you're up to, you don’t feel as if you're taking rest.

BIRD: Right. There's no margin in my life. There's no rest in my even just daily calendar, you know. And I think I need to kind of add-in that margin as if it were an appointment or a meeting or something that I value because it’s hard for me. Like you said. I'm thinking that it's hard to make margin a habit, right. But maybe it's not if I just start incorporating like I do everything else.

TERRY: Amazing. Friends listening, you might have tuned in cause you wanted like business acumen, cause that's what Bird Means Business podcast is about. Don’t make the mistake of trying to pour from an empty cup. I want to grow my staff. I want to scale. I want to better serve my clients. I want to build this new system. These are all incredible things. But if you expend everything that you've got without ever being refilled, you soon are just on empty and you have nothing left to give. And maybe for you, that looks kind of like what Bird was expressing. The idea you need more rest. I also am an entrepreneur, now focused on rest because I never did before. And it took me to a very severe place of like, I need to actually, like, rest needs to be in my calendar. Right. People have too many things in their calendars. Mine needs to be strategically cluttered with rest, like I gotta agree with myself I’m gonna do it. And maybe it has nothing to do with rest for you. It looks different, and that's cool. But I just wanna remind you of two things. One, remember, “The battle for our hearts is won or lost on the pages of our calendar.” And two, “Daily doings determine destiny.” Forget what's the most you can do. What’s the least you can do? And when you do that thing consistently over time and accept accountability, cause that's how you win.

BIRD: Wow. And there's not anything I can even add to that, that was powerful. Thank you so much, Terry, for taking me through this incredible mindset coaching session. I have a lot to think about. A lot to journal about. And just pause. you know I would typically go on to the next thing. But I'm gonna actually pause and soak some of this in. And I hope those of you who are listening will as well. 

Wow. Reflecting on that mindset coaching session with Terry. Uh, I really needed that. I think I was really most captured by how it all tied together and really helped me make sense of stuff that I didn't even know was inside me. Y’all I didn't know what to expect. I've never been through his full mindset coaching process. And I remember him saying at the beginning of the episode, what you write down might talk back to you. And I feel like that's exactly what happened during this time for me. I hope it was powerful for you as well. And again, if you weren't able to actually sit and focus, as you listened. I strongly encourage you to print out the free mindset coaching worksheet in the show notes and revisit this episode when you can really make space for it. Okay. Promise me you'll do that. And also know that if you want the personalized touch of Terry actually journeying through this process with you and pulling out insights from your own personal experience, you can head over to his website at terrythetrainer.life to book a mindset coaching session with him. And I promise you it will not disappoint. 

As always, thank you so much for tuning into the Bird Means Business podcast. Make sure that you subscribe on Apple Podcasts. And I would love it if you could leave us a review. You could also follow the pod on Spotify. And make sure that you tell every entrepreneur or really anyone you know about this episode so that they can begin to reframe their mindset too. Talk to y'all next week.