BIRD WILLIAMS: You’re listening to Bird Means Business Episode 65

Hey, hey, hey! How y'all feeling out there? Welcome to another episode of Bird Means Business podcast. I am so glad you're here.

Wait, first of all, can we just talk about the fact that it is March? Like, we are already in March. What? How is time flying by so fast? Well, March is Women's History Month. And March, 8 is International Women's Day. So in today's episode, we're celebrating women in business. Yes, I'm excited about this one. In case you don't know, there is a lot that we have to celebrate on the topic of women in business. Here are some stats from a Fundera article, which I'll actually make sure that I link in the show notes for you to read the full list. But just listen to these incredible stats. First, US women-owned businesses, generate $1.8 trillion a year. Wow. 40% of us businesses are women-owned. Last year, women started 1,821 net new businesses every single day. That is wild. And last year, 64% of new women-owned businesses were started by women of color. Then there's the Latinas. Where my Latinas at? Latina women-owned businesses grew by more than 87%. Wow. Y'all there are 114% more women entrepreneurs today than there were 20 years ago. Private tech companies that are led by women achieve a 35% higher return on investment. And women-owned businesses added half a million jobs between 1997 and 2007. I mean that's incredible, right? And why does it matter? Because, as the article states, women in business are a driving force in our nation's flourishing economy. The US economy is increasingly reliant on the work and devotion of female entrepreneurs. Women are starting, and running businesses at a stunning rate, and we're doing so with demonstrable skill and expertise. Like I said, we have a lot to celebrate. 

So I plan to talk about what it looks like to show up as a woman in business. But, as I began to think about the episode and how it laid things out, I realized how we show up as a woman in business will be largely based on how we show up as a woman, period. I was recently asked to be spotlighted in a social media campaign in honor of Women's History Month. And there were several interview questions, one of which was this. What has been the biggest stigma for you as a woman, and how did you overcome it. And, however silly this may sound to y'all, I didn't know how to answer the question. I mean, I know there are stigmas women face. But I didn't feel like I had to overcome quote-unquote any of them. So, realizing that that wasn't going to be good enough to answer for this interview question, I went to the Googles, and I searched ‘list of stigmas for women’. And I'm actually going to link the article that I found in the show notes because it's pretty interesting. As I read through this list of stigmas: the breastfeeding stigma, the age stigma, the Angry woman stigma, etc. I began to realize, ah I see. I guess, I just don't let stigmas control me. I just simply don't give them much space, in my energy and in decision making and so on. So for example, I breastfeed in public. I have for both of my sons despite the weird stares I get. And I'll happily share my age, I've never been embarrassed by my age. I love the idea of getting older and wiser. I love the gray hairs popping up in my hair. I don't try to hide them. I don't wear makeup regularly, why because I really just don't enjoy wearing makeup. I oftentimes forget I'm wearing it, I forget it's on my face and then I smear my mascara and I'll walk around looking busted half the day. Makeup is not my jam. Here's another one. I don't cook. My husband, Terry does. 

In this epiphany I'm having as I'm reading this article on stigmas, it seemed to me that, I guess I overcome stigmas by just accepting who I am and making decisions about my life with this regard to those stigmas. I had a similar revelation recently when a mompreneur friend of mine suggested I read the book, "Fair Play" by Eve Rodsky. It's a really great book. It's all about the unfair balance of work in the home between partners. And in one part of the book, she runs through a long list of these invisible tasks women do in the household. And I remember thinking as I read, "Wow, Terry does so many of these." And when I think about why, my best guess is that first, Terry and I, own the areas of the household that we're naturally best at, whatever we're gifted at, regardless of societal norms. And second, we truly see ourselves as equal. So, on the societal norms piece, like I said, I don't cook the meals for our family. As in, it's been at least a year since I've cooked anything outside of frying bacon for my sons in the morning or boiling my eggs each week. That's something I do. You know when we first got married, I tried the cooking thing because I thought it would be cute, right? Yeah, it was not cute, not even kind of cute. Burnt food, late food, all of it. No, not cute. It was just not my lane. And meanwhile, Terry would be like hovering over me asking, "Oh, can I make a side dish or can I help?" Because he loves to cook. It's like therapy to him. He gets all into it. So it doesn't make sense for us to do things the way society expects us to if it doesn't work out for our family, right? And another example, I manage our finances for our household, our budgets, our bills, all of that, which can be seen as a man's role, but it's something that I enjoy and Terry would honestly really dread. 

Now when it comes to the part of us seeing each other as true equals. First, Terry and I view each other as real partners. We're in a partnership together. If I win, he wins. If he loses. I'm losing. And I sometimes wonder if being in business together as newlyweds helped really enforce this for us because we got married in 2012, and we were in business in 2013. So I don't know if that's why we're wired that way but that's how we've always kind of viewed everything in our lives. And when we began introducing kids into the mix, when we've had this business, we've run it for years, we started having kids. If we would have managed our household like most of the couples do that were described in that book, "Fair Play", it would have disproportionately affected my role in our businesses, which wouldn't have worked out for the whole situation if that makes sense. Why would we assume that I would do all the things related to the babies if these were our children that we both brought into the world, right? Sure, there are some things that he can't do, like breastfeed. But he can change diapers. He can pack diaper bags, and on and on. 

Also, we're really big on communication. Hear me when I say we are not perfect at it, but we're always working on communicating better. So, if at any point I felt like I had too much on my plate or something was unfair. I felt completely comfortable being vocal about that to Terry. So why do I share all of this? Why am I talking about all of this? Because I think how you show up as a woman in your everyday life will affect the woman you are in the boardroom, and the business woman you are at the bank or negotiating a commercial lease space. Look, I've been told that the language I submitted in a negotiation was, quote-unquote emotional, and inflammatory. When in fact said language, had actually been submitted by a male counterpart. I've been cut off mid-sentence, and had to pull a Kamala Harris, "I am speaking". I've had someone take credit for my idea, rephrasing something I just said as if it were new. Those are all moments I stand my ground. And I leave it there and move forward in full confidence as I complete the next thing on the agenda. I keep it moving. And I hope you do too, because if you feel held back or overwhelmed by these stigmas, and let those thoughts and emotions and feelings consume you. It's gonna affect what you think you can qualify for, what you think you can achieve or apply for, or even what you think you can ask for in a negotiation. So while we aren't ignorant and saying that these stigmas don't exist. And we don't deny that these stigmas make some of these moments super uncomfortable or hard. We can't let them consume us, because that just takes away precious space in our minds, in our hearts, and in our energy, that could be instead channeled into building our businesses. 

Now I want to say one last thing on women supporting women around this topic because I think this is huge. Women get painted in the media as catty and all about the drama. And you see this in all those shows, the housewives of this and the wives of that. It's all centered around the women arguing and dealing with this drama. Right? I was recently watching a superhero movie, a kids movie with my sons. And all the superwomen did was fight. It was so annoying. So I in that moment explained to my two and four year old boys who probably couldn't completely understand what I was saying, but I still wanted to make sure I did it, that most women don't act this way. That women actually love and support each other and get along great. And I actually used examples that they knew, friends of mine that they refer to as Aunt Jalen or Aunt Megan, and reminded them that we don't act this way toward each other. We encourage each other and support each other and have fun with each other. So I encourage us all to actively work against that narrative that women are arguing and catty with each other all the time. 

And when it comes to women supporting women in business, there are so many ways to do this. First, there's partnerships and collaborations. Y'all 78% of my podcast guests in 2020 were female entrepreneurs. And I honestly didn't even set out to do this. It just happened. And when I realized it, I was like, "YES". So, find ways to partner and collaborate with each other. 

Another are online communities. These can be powerful spaces. For example, I'm in a mompreneur group on Facebook, and recently I asked the ladies, "For those of you who are full-time entrepreneurs, how do y'all do maternity leave?" I've never taken a real maternity leave, and I'm trying to figure it out. So, that's just an example of how we can lean on each other and share our experiences, as we're all trying to navigate being a mom or a woman in business. 

And I ultimately believe true support boils down to understanding this. There is enough for everyone. I'm gonna say it again. There's enough for everyone. A friend of mine, Mike Stevenson, had this powerful statement as a title for one of his art exhibits, and it really impacted me. It really made me think. We have to remember that there's enough for everyone. Someone else reaching their revenue goal doesn't mean that I can't reach mine. One of my sisters in business getting an opportunity, doesn't mean that there are no more opportunities for me, right? That's silly to think that way. This idea that if they have more, I will automatically have less. That's toxic and simply untrue. 

So we should promote, encourage, and elevate those women around us in full confidence that what's meant for us will come to us. So I hope this episode has inspired you to think about the woman you are in your everyday life, in your home, and in your business to maybe get honest with yourself about what you're communicating to those you love, and the example you're being for those to come. Look, none of us will get this perfectly right, but we can at the very least show up authentically, and with confidence. 

I also hope you take some time this week, really this entire month as we're celebrating women, to be intentional about celebrating the women in your life. Maybe you write them a letter and share how special they are to you. Or send them a video message to express how you wouldn't have gotten this far in your journey without their support. And may we women continue to be strong pillars in our homes, communities, and in the business world at large. 

Girl, I'll forever be cheering you on and finding ways to celebrate you. And as always, thank you for tuning into Bird Means Business podcast. Thank you for subscribing on Apple Podcasts and following the show on Spotify as well. I'd love for you to leave me reviews. Be sure to tell every entrepreneur you know about this episode so that they can celebrate women in business, too. Talk to y'all next week.