BIRD WILLIAMS: You're listening to Bird Means Business Episode 81. 

Hi there! And thank you for tuning into Bird Means Business podcast. I'm your host, Bird Williams. And today we actually have two special guests in the studio. My husband, Terry.

TERRY WILLIAMS: Hey! 

BIRD: And he is actually holding our newborn baby girl, Rhys Jael. This is the first podcast recording we've done since she was born. So we'll just see how long we get it before she starts to join us here on the show.

TERRY: I hope she does join us. That'd be really special. She's sleeping on daddy's chest. But be on standby. You might hear some little happy baby noises.

BIRD: I love it. I love it. So I am really excited to get into what you have to share today about growing into your goals. So let's get started.

TERRY: Let's do it. So a little background on me. I love mindset coaching. Obviously, you've been listening to Bird Means Business for a long time. You know that we're in business together. We have a gym. We started out with coaching people for physical fitness. She now does a great job in platforms like this podcast and coaching people in business. And then I do a lot of work with coaching people in mindset. And so we're gonna dive into some of that today. I imagine you have goals in your business strategy, goals in life outside of it. And today, we're going to kind of reflect on what our goals are, what it might take to get there. And then just do a little bit of digging, see if it might unearth something that kind of sets you up into a good system, get a little life hack going to help get you going toward that goal.

BIRD: And what I love about this is, at the beginning of the year, we all set goals, these audacious goals that we have maybe in our personal life, for our finances, in our businesses, in our health. And that's awesome. But what I find a lot of times is that people don't check in with their goals throughout the year. So it's kind of like set it and forget it. And then you get to the end of the year. And you're looking back on your list of the goals you set. And it's like, aw, man, I did not reach these goals. So I love that we're at about a midway point in the year. And we're able to kind of check in and see, okay, where am I on these goals that I set? And how can I really grow into them?

TERRY: That's huge. And to that point, if you want to think of a new goal that you have now, that's great. And we can work through the exercise on that. Or if you want to revisit one of your New Year's resolutions that you're not doing so hot at. Today would be a good time while you're listening to this episode, to revisit that goal and use it for this exercise we're gonna work through. Cause I think it can help anybody who feels like you know, maybe they got off track a little bit. This can help to get you back into a good rhythm on that. And maybe you can see something you thought was a fail, coming into a flourishing finish. You could turn this thing around.

BIRD: Yes, you can turn this thing around. So we're going to either look at a goal that we set that we're not doing so great on. Or think of a new goal that we might have and apply it to what we're gonna talk about today.

TERRY: Sure, either one will work great. There'll be a worksheet along with this episode if I'm correct. And so you'll be able to work along with that. I encourage you if you don't have the worksheet with you, as you're listening, pause this thing as much as you need to. Take a moment. Really sit with it, think about it, land these things, because it's going to be hugely beneficial to you.

BIRD: And that worksheet he's referencing. You can actually just scroll right down to the show notes. That's the episode description if you're listening on Spotify, or Apple Podcasts, or wherever you find your podcasts. And there'll be a link there for you to download the worksheet. And that'll definitely help you get the most out of the episode. So, yeah. Let's dive in.

TERRY: So, if you didn't listen to the previous episode that I was on, just to give you some background, this is going to be a conversation between Bird and myself. But it welcomes you in on the work. I want to be clear about that. You're actually going through these steps for you. You're hearing Bird report her pieces. And then you're also taking time to think about what that might look like for you. So it kind of helps to guide you through the process. 

And so we're gonna work through a system called GROW. G-R-O-W. And this coaching model is going to help us to recognize what goal is in front of us, what reality is present to us, what options and opportunities we have, and then how we find a way forward. 

So start with that G. Goal. Bird what is a big goal that you have?

BIRD: A big goal that I have, and this is not one that I set for 2021. This is just a goal that I had when I started to think about this interview or this session is to run a half marathon. 

TERRY: Love it!

BIRD: I always wanted to run a half marathon. I don't think I'll ever run a marathon and I'm completely fine with that. But a half marathon is something I've always wanted to do. A couple of years ago, I signed up for SeaWheeze, but it ended up getting canceled. SeaWheeze is a run event that Lululemon puts on. And I was really excited about it. And they ended up having to cancel it. So ever since then, I was like, I got to get back to this goal of mine. So yeah, running a half marathon. I'm not historically a runner. And I didn't like that I kept saying that about myself. So actually, one of my clients and our good friend, Ben Kenyon, has the Great Day Squad. And a couple years ago, he did a Great Day For a Run challenge in the summer. In the heat of the summer, I was running how many miles?

TERRY:  You were doing a 5k every day.

BIRD: That's what it was. A 5k a day. And for me to go from nothing to that was crazy. So that really motivated me and helped me to realize I can do this if I stick to it. And so yeah, that's my goal - running a half marathon. 

TERRY: Okay, so everybody listening, think about what that might be for you. Notice Bird said that she's not currently a quote-unquote, runner. She doesn't identify as such today. 

BIRD: But I want to. 

TERRY: But she wants to. And she's establishing the goal of running a half marathon. What does that look like for you specifically? Now notice this is for you, with no judgment. So for some people who run Iron Man's, they look at a half marathon like, "Oh, that's cute". And for somebody who is not a runner, does not identify as that. They're looking to half marathon like, "Girl, that's a whole lot. Why not just do it a 10k?" Right? 

So this is something that for you is a big goal. Sit with it. Think about it. Feel totally free to pause this for as long as you need to, to land something there because we're going to work all of this from the recognition of a goal. 

Alright, so Bird, why a half marathon? What does it represent for you? 

BIRD: Well, to your point, I feel like a 5k or a 10k is more doable. And when it comes to goals that I've set, I want them to be a challenge. I want them to really stretch me. And I think half marathon in the spectrum of all the run activities, fits well to me. It seems really daunting. But I know there are actionable steps that I can take toward reaching the goal. So that's why I chose that level of run. But again, wanting to be a runner. Why do I want to be a runner? Not just to say I'm a runner. I feel like running is such a great physical activity because you can do it anywhere. It doesn't cost any money. You don't need a gym membership. It's like an easy way to if I can get myself to train myself to be a runner, I can continue to be healthy and fit despite whatever circumstances I'm in. So I feel like it's just a great thing too, to try to, you know, be.

TERRY: I love it. I love it.

You talk about being a runner, right? Yeah, it's an identity shift. It's not just a habit. It's not just an action item. It's becoming a different kind of person. James clear in the book, "Atomic Habits", one of my favorite books ever written, talks a lot about how establishing a new habit pattern makes you get reps toward that goal. Makes you do things daily. It's all in the daily doings. And that's what leads you toward where you want to be. And essentially, you're casting these votes over and over again for the type of person you'd like to be. 

So I love that what you're saying is like, ultimately, it's not about the half marathon. That's the event. That's the capstone. That's the goal. That's what I'm working toward. But in the process of working toward that every single day, I'm becoming a little bit more of what I want that event to represent in my life because I'm becoming a runner. Now running isn't this daunting task that just seems way too burdensome, especially in the summer heat in Houston, Texas, because it is hot out here. Instead, you unlock something and give yourself access to something. And now you're like, "Whoa, the world is my gym. It don't matter where I am. At home, in a hotel, in another city on a business trip. I can always throw on the shoes and hit the pavement and I have my workout right there and I am now a runner." 

I think that's huge. I think also, and for everybody listening, note this. This is important. Whatever goal you wrote down, it might be incredible. It might need a little bit of massaging. Let's find out right now if your goal needs a little bit of work. It's got to be simple and strong. Nothing is ever strong unless it's specific. 

Now notice she said half marathon. Full disclosure. We didn't do a whole lot of prep for this episode. I don't really get down like that. I want it to be real for her to just be able to speak authentically. Like she literally just mentioned to me maybe five minutes before we started recording. I think I'm going to share that half marathon is my goal. So half marathon is strong because it's not just, I want to start running more. It's specific. A half marathon is 13.1 miles. A half marathon is an event. A half marathon happens on a specific day. You sign up for it. You pay for it. A half marathon is a thing, right? 

Now, in order to achieve that thing, she'll start doing the daily runs, weekly runs, whatever cadence she gets into leading up to it. But it's a very specific thing. So for example, I want to get more fit. You don't want to say, I just want to get back in shape. You know, like, what I weighed when I was in college. If I want to get back in shape, I need it to be simple. I have a weight goal. But it also needs to be strong. To be strong has to be specific. So I'm going to work out four times a week so that in every seven-day period, I got more work days than rest days, right? Or I am going to begin to follow a certain diet program. Or I'm going to sign up for the gym today. Not just make the plan. But like make it happen. 

Maybe in your business, it's that you want your business to be profitable for the first time ever. That's a beautiful goal. But let's make it specific. Like maybe there are two bills that you can cut to drop your expenses. And two new clients you can sign on to, so you're boosting revenue. So that, bam, in one stroke of power, you have now done something tangible toward that goal. So let's make it specific. 

And I just had to spend a little extra time going through that so that for the rest of this activity, you now have an actual blueprint drawn up. So for example, what we're working with here is 13.1 miles. 

Now, you alluded to this a little bit earlier, Bird. And this is going to be important for everybody else to think about too. We got that G. We got that goal. Okay, now we talk reality. Again, you've already kind of alluded to how you identify in this domain. But why don't you go ahead and take a moment to just explain, just express, what is your reality right now as the type of person who runs?

BIRD: I am not a runner. I am two weeks, well a week and a half postpartum. I just had a baby recently, and my body is still healing. So I'm not anywhere close to being able to start training for a half marathon. Again, this wasn't a 2021 goal. It's just a goal that I have. But yeah, I would need a lot of time. I'm also breastfeeding. And so for anyone who has breastfed or knows about that, it is a whole endeavor. And so we're at the beginning stages of that. And for the next year, I'm going to do everything I can to be producing enough milk to be able to give to my baby girl. So that means that thing's like sweating a lot. It can be tough. It's not impossible. But if I sweat a lot, I'm losing a lot of water. And water is huge for milk production. So honestly, I don't see myself being able to really train hard for the next year, potentially. So there's some time before I'm gonna reach this goal. But I still wanted to kind of navigate through. So yeah, I am like zero on a scale of zero to ten in terms of, you know, kind of reaching my goal.

TERRY: Okay, let's step outside of that, and then come right back to it. So you may not identify as a runner today. However, I do know of you as a person in your world, that you are a person who is able to achieve solid aerobic capacity. So example, you mentioned Ben Kenyon, our friend who owns Great Day Squad, who had you running 5K's every day for a month. Ben, for context podcast family, at that time was a strength and conditioning coach for the Portland Trailblazers and now is in that same role for the Sixers. And I was talking to him recently on the phone. And it's ironic that you shouted him out in the run comment. He was talking to me about how you've been in the gym just recently, like right before having Baby Girl. And was just saying, "We're soft. We got to get our life together. Bird is still going hard in the gym right before giving birth to Baby Girl. Say that to say maybe you're not running but you are grinding. 

And for anybody who's got a goal and they look at their reality and they feel like man this is daunting. I so don't identify with the type of person who could ever achieve that goal. Look for your avenues. Look for your lanes because there are things that you're up to that are definitely able to speak back to you and signify that you have it in you to do it. You're just riding in a different lane but still moving in the right direction. It's very rare that somebody is just absolutely off the mark. You have a goal because you have something in you. You want the tree to grow because the seed has been planted. I want to land that for anybody anywhere who has a goal, and then now look at this reality and are like, well shoot, I'm screwed. Bird's gonna run this half marathon, it might not be anytime soon. But she's got a means by which she can continue raising aerobic capacity until it's time to get back on the trails and run.

BIRD: I love that so much. And I want to tie it to business. Like you kind of gave that example too. Because I know a lot of folks tuning in are entrepreneurs. They're launching or growing their businesses. And especially for those really at any stage. For those who are launching. I know I run into a lot of entrepreneurs who have had a nine to five. Or who, you know, are just finishing school and they're trying to launch this business. And they feel like they have no idea what they're doing, and they're completely ill-equipped. They're like throwing themselves to the wolves. And it's like the same thing. Just like you soared in school or made those achievements on your other job. You were strong in those lanes. This is a new lane. It looks different. You feel ill-equipped. But you still have it in you to figure it out. You still have it in you to have a strong work ethic. To come up with a strategy. To stick with it. To be committed and those types of things. So again, I just wanted to kind of draw that parallel, because I know a lot of times again, people are in these situations where they feel like what am I doing launching a business? What am I doing calling myself an entrepreneur? I'm no entrepreneur. It's new, but it doesn't mean it's impossible. Just stick with it and the same tools that you gained in those previous seasons, or in those different roles. You can just translate, transfer to this and soar. So I just wanted to mention that.

TERRY: That's huge. I love that so much. So you got your goal. You got your reality. Everybody listening, you've got your goal. Write it down. Sit with it. Be with it. Hope it feels good. Hope you feel inspired as you think about it. And then you got your reality. Now don't feel bummed out about your reality. Don't feel all this condemnation and self-inflicted torture of, "Ugh, this is so daunting. I'm so far from where I want to be." It's so easy to look at this in a peaks and valleys kind of mindset like, "That's so high up and I'm so deep down. How do I even return to baseline?" Right? And I want to first establish that the valley by definition, a valley by definition, is a low point between two high points. If you're at an all-time low right now, you've achieved some high points before. And you're on your way to achieving some more high points. That's just the relationship hills and valleys have to each other. 

Now a great quote by Muhammad Ali is going to take us from that G and R into our O. He said this and just receive this. This is awesome to me. He says, "It's not the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out. It's the pebbles in your shoes."

So, we set a goal. We established our reality. The reality is not lining up with the goal and that's okay cause the seed never looks like the harvest. That's okay cause the valley is representative of the fact that there's some peaks to come. 

So the O is options and opportunities. Okay? But I want to sidestep that even and add another O, cause we gotta talk about this first. The obstacles. What are the freakin pebbles in your shoes? We got mountains to climb. So Bird, first throwing it to you. And then everybody listening, I want you to think about this for yourself as well. If you got really honest with yourself, what would you say are the pebbles in your shoes?

BIRD: I would definitely say just that uphill battle to getting back to where I can run regularly. With like I said, the breastfeeding with, like I said, my body kind of healing and figuring all that out. I don't think I'm supposed to work out for like six weeks. 

TERRY: Yep, that's true. 

BIRD: After having a baby. So there's that. But then even when that time comes, it's like managing how much I'm sweating, because of breastfeeding and all of that. So just kind of giving myself grace and being gentle there. But that's, I think some pebbles on my shoe.

TERRY: Time I'm hearing. 

BIRD: Yeah.

TERRY: You got to get time for your body to heal, to go through breastfeeding. And then it's go time on the run. So then what that brings to mind for me is making a list of maybe things that you can do in the interim before you're back to running that help you become a better runner. Like different eating habits or different modes of activity, stuff you can do that might not cost you so much sweat, but that will elevate your heart rate, open your lung capacity, get your legs engaged, so you can get back to running. So these are things I want you to apply as you listen, Fam. You have a present reality. What obstacles are there such that you're not able to get on route from your reality to your goal? Like, we're looking at this with no judgment. This needs to be clear cut. Your reality is your current address. Your goal is the place you're trying to get to. We are on Waze right now. What's the route? Understanding the obstacles is to understand where are the traffic jams? What roads are closed? How can I reroute to now get to where I'm going? And when you remove an obstacle, it exposes the options, that then bring you an opportunity. So if Bird knows, okay, time is a thing. There's a lag in between where I am now and where I want to be that's out of my control. What can I control? What new decisions can I make? It might be a longer route. And if I know the approximate month that I'm done breastfeeding, that's the month I get back to running. And then from that month, I still get six good months of running around the block, then around the neighborhood, then around the park, then eventually to run the half marathon. So what do I now do in the meantime, that helps me become a better runner before I hit the trails and go run?

BIRD: Yeah, and I was also thinking that if I were at the place where you know, I could start training, other things would be my schedule. Like carving out time to actually train. I know that when I was doing the 5k for a day, I had to be very intentional. You remember. It would be like really early in the morning because it was hot in July. 

TERRY: Yeah.

BIRD: I would do it or really late at night. There were times where it would be raining and I was still going to get my 5k in. So I haven't been really intentional about scheduling. It would be another kind of pebble in our shoe. 

TERRY: That's huge. You can work through your schedule in the meantime, as you're still breastfeeding, and before you back running the trails. And then you have this huge blessing when it's time to run because now scheduling and even an issue because it's there, it makes sense. There's more margin. 

And I'll say as a person who is has run distance races before, one of the natural things that distance runners do is they get up before the sun rises, and they go run. So you without even realizing that, just because it was a piece of your schedule, and the fact that you were in that place a runner, you're actually doing the stuff that like professional runners do, Olympic runners do, everyday weekend warrior runners do. And that there's something in that for any goal, no matter what your present reality is, when you begin to remove obstacles, explore options and open up opportunities, you realize that just being in the world, just being in the environment, just being in the range of motion that you dream of getting good at, you're automatically doing the thing that the great humans in that space do. It's kind of funny how it just started starts to pull you right on forward. You let go of some things that were holding you back. You begin to lean into the thing that will drive you forward. 

And so that's where we'll go now. The W, which is way forward. So Bird, considering that your goal is to run a half marathon, 13.1 miles going down at an event on a given day, that you'll sign up for, travel to, lace up the sneakers and go for. Given that you have the reality that in this present day you would not identify as a runner. And then looking at the obstacles of time constraints, body healing postpartum, your schedule being a new kind of time constraint outside of just health and recovery. What would you say given this information is your way forward? How do you get to your half marathon?

BIRD: I would say being intentional about it, even though it's far off, right? Even though I have some time, even though I have a lot of healing to do it all of that. It might be scheduling it, you know, and maybe it is a little bit too far off because maybe people aren't booking, you know, they're not talking about half marathons in like late 2022 right now. But if when the time comes, when SeaWheeze is announced, or some other half marathon that excites me, actually booking it, because that's going to help hold me accountable. Another thing is telling close friends, someone that I trust. Someone who I know will not just be the nice friend, but will challenge me to do what I said I would do, right? And so just telling them, "Hey, I want to run a half marathon. This is the day I'm looking at. Or this is the timeframe. Will you hold me accountable? Will you check in with me like every month or every couple of months to see where I am?" And then if again, I was in the mode of training, like check in with me weekly to see how my train was going you know, that kind of thing. So I have accountability.

TERRY: That's huge! Accountability changes things. That will take you to another level quickly.

BIRD: Yeah. So I think that's a big part of my way forward. And then I think there's a lot of mindset pieces around it, especially again, if I was in training mode. Cause, I remember it was hard, you know, getting up early and running especially because I didn't really identify as that. It was hard for me. Like you're saying, lung capacity and stuff. I was struggling. So I had to really push through it. I remember you telling me that there would be like these blocks like mental blocks that I feel like I couldn't go one more step. But once I'd take that step and push past that, what I feel like is a wall, it'll kind of open up a whole new world. And I'll realize, oh, my gosh, I can run a lot longer than I thought. And so I think a lot of mindset pieces. And also just remembering a part of my way forward is remembering what comes with it. Because when I was doing those 5k's every day. I mean, it wasn't just the running. I was starting to feel better. I was starting to look better. I was starting to eat differently, because I was like, "No, if I had those wings, this run is gonna be that much harder." I literally remember. I know this is TMI. But y'all know, I keep it real. I remember, like, I would start running and have to poop. Remember, I would come in and say, "I have to poop. Why do I have to poop when I run?" And Terry was always telling me, you know, your nutrition is gonna play a role. And so it started to change my nutrition. It started to change my life, you know, my lifestyle. So depending on what your goal is, whether it's something related to health, or your business, or your personal life or whatever it might be. Thinking of it as a lifestyle, thinking of all the ancillary things it could affect. Your family, like, you know. If I'm eating better, my kids are eating better, my household's was eating better. Okay, now whole generations are eating better. There's a long term impact of these things. So remembering all of that is also part of my way forward. Because it's about more than just the half marathon, more than just Ashley, or Bird. It's about the bigger impact.

TERRY: That's huge. So do you feel like you're clear? Like this half marathon thing now. Does it feel like, "Okay, that makes sense. I can write a few notes down and look at my calendar, figure some things out and scope some ways to sign up for something in the future, whenever they announce it. Does it feel more within reach? 

BIRD: Yes, absolutely. 

TERRY: That's huge. Whatever your goal was, listeners, Fam. Whatever your reality is. Whatever that obstacle is that needs to be removed, that opens up options, and then gives you clear opportunity so you're clear on it. Now I know my way forward. Note that. Remember it. And now you have the blueprint. You have the playbook. You have the guideposts in play. 

One athlete I was working with was a lot like Bird and saying that it was a mindset thing. This athlete was this is a professional athlete, who was basically saying, I've become pretty comfortable doing it for career. It's a job. I enjoy it. It's my passion. But I want to switch gears and go back to what I used to be in my younger years where I was doing this to be a world champion. It was about greatness. It wasn't about doing pretty good. It's about being great. And they would go on to say that they went back to what used to be their goal. They realize their present reality, which they in their own terms were saying was kind of just mediocre. Pretty good. Getting some love in the media. Ranked pretty well. You know, some win some losses, no biggie. Here. Present. A staple piece of the sport. But this person was saying,"No, I want greatness. I want to be a champion." Their options and opportunities led them to a shift in mindset, making a decision. Until I am crowned World Champion, I will carry myself like a world champion. And having that intrinsic motivation. Having that big why that was attached their core values, their idea of greatness drove them to the point that in their next performance, like on primetime TV and streamed online, and with a big audience base. Their performance was on a whole different level. They didn't only get the win. But they advanced up in the ranking systems. And now that person is so much closer to being a literal World Champion. A change of mindset changes the state of your heart. And it changes the way you show up in performance. 

So whatever your big obstacle is, change your mind about that obstacle. Reframe it. It's not a boulder in your path blocking your route. This is something that can be worked around. And matter of fact, maybe that boulder, isn't really a boulder. It's pebbles in your shoe. You can remove and make that climb up the mountain easier. If you're looking to make your business more financially fit, for example. But your reality now is that your business is in debt. And it's not in a unprofitable place. Remove all judgment. Look at your reality as your current position. Look at your goal as the destination of choice. And then get on Waze. Find that route. Get around those obstacles. You got to understand that every little thing that you do on the way to your goal is casting a vote for the kind of person that you'd like to be. This is an election. You're going to win by a landslide and I'm rooting for you. And I say this almost every time I show up anywhere. But if you've listened to this and spent this time with us, I'm grateful for it. I love you, and there's nothing you can do about it. Feel free to reach out to me and connect with me. And I'd be happy to be that accountability for you that Bird so geniusly pointed out. Because accountability is huge in the pursuit of any goal. Cheers to you on your growth. And I look forward to toasting with you soon as you establish your way forward and crush this goal.

BIRD: Yes, I love it so much. This has been really good. Again, I think it's a great time to check in on our goals. And I'll be sure to link the worksheet in the show notes. I'll also link ways you can connect with Terry. Do you want to share a few ways folks can connect with you? Your Instagram? Your website? 

TERRY: Yeah, sure. Easiest way is on Instagram, I'm @terrythetrainer. There's no punctuation or underscores or anything. It's real simple. TerrytheTrainer. Holler at me on the gram. Let's connect. And then my website is TerrytheTrainer.life.

BIRD:  Love it. And if you like this sort of thing, which I love, by the way. If you want to apply it to your specific situation, your specific goals. Terry does lots of different types of coaching, life coaching, wellness coaching. It goes on and on. So you can find all that on his website. And if you want another taste of what it can kind of look like, check out Episode 63 of Bird Means Business podcast. We do a whole mindset coaching session. And I'll be sure to link that in the show notes as well. It was a really popular episode. So you'll want to get it in your life. 

TERRY: That one was definitely fun. 

BIRD: Yeah. Awesome! 

Well, thanks so much for tuning in. I hope that you gained so much from this episode. I hope that you share with someone who can glean from it. And I'd love for you to leave a review on Apple Podcasts, to follow us on Spotify, and like I said, share the love. 

Alright, talk to y'all next week. 

TERRY: Peace!

BIRD: Peace! 

Baby Rhys, do you have anything to say? Nope. 

TERRY: Nothing but moans and baby snores over here. 

BIRD: She stayed asleep. Yay!